Monday, June 2, 2008
diVoRcE : tHE iRonY oF LoVE
Marriages occur in different reasons. It varies from those simple runaway fairy tales of love to those complicated stories of unwanted pregnancies. However, divorce may occur in a scenario of extreme superficiality and complete abjuration of tying the knot. Divorce is the exact opposite of marriage; nonetheless, it is a cliché for Hollywood stars and some rather eloquent masses. Thus let me adhere to my point which is: that divorce should be implemented if not legalized here in the Philippines.
Defining divorce in the simplest manner requires neither the pinnacles of intelligence nor the zeniths of wisdom. It is simply the official ending of marriage or separation. Thus we question, why should we end a marriage when it is bound by the laws of God? Why is it so that people have a sudden change of heart? How can we simply eradicate the tie, the intimacy, and the love that we feel? The answer: because we are human and by being human, we are prone to instances that are momentary or impermanent emotional stability – our feelings unsettling, our decisions inconstant, our passions fluctuating, and our selves changing from time to time. Thus, we need to bring an end to the misery of a futile marriage.
First of all, divorce is a widely accepted concept in the Western World. It is the solution to marriages-from-hell, the answer to every battered woman’s prayer, the remedy for the hopeless case of polygamy, the super-hero who saves the innocent victims from those bad villains. Even though divorce results to broken families and abandoned children, there is no other way if the relationship doesn’t work the way it used to. The relationship will eventually worsen and in whatever angle you may want to look at it, divorce is and will only be the sole solution. Family had always been the strongest foundation, so they say, of the society – with the typical father-mother-children picture here in the Philippines. We have been bounded to the stereotypes of our old-aged tradition – that family and God work hand in hand resulting to quarrels and injury. No wonder fathers leave home not to work but to find another haven, mothers becoming desperate even having an affair with their neighbor’s gardener, juvenile delinquents becoming so rebellious and unstoppable ignoring the real epitome of the home as a means of escape. Will we only be nostalgic to all the atrocities and anarchy within our families? Pathetic insolent fools!
Second, divorce is simply annulment put on formality’s sake thus putting a bad façade on its namesake - cloaked behind the legalities of the complex system of law-making. In a divorce action, one spouse, usually the wife, may be granted alimony or maintenance payments generally for a limited period of time. The custody of any children may be awarded to either spouse, with fair regulations made for visiting rights and support of the children. At present, joint-custody arrangements are being worked out more and more frequently by divorcing parents.
“Divorce, is a legislatively created, judicially administered process that legally terminates a marriage no longer considered viable by one or both of the spouses and that permits both to remarry. Until the divorce reform movement of the 1970s began to have an impact, the legal doctrines governing divorce could be understood only by reviewing the long history of English divorce law, which was dominated by concepts of canon law.” (Microsoft Encarta 2006)
Third, divorce sets people free from the grasp of naïve husbands and miserable wives. It gives them space – some air to breathe – and another shot to a might-be-so-good-a-relationship. It is the fall-back for those who were led astray by their selfish thirst for lust, money, power and justification for all the transgressions that have had arisen. It is letting lose from strangulation of all the complexities of married life towards a road leading to nowhere. Empathy does not justify the recurring commotions nor does pity rationalize the sorrows one has suffered – a nadir to all your grievances – an unfathomable pit of the disfigurement of one’s heart and mind.
*My opinions do not need to be wallowed in your thinking. It is neither a perversion of your knowledge nor a corruption of your thought. It is a reality faced by millions of people not only in the Philippines but, too, around the world. I have placed all these in a context of the simplest argumentation for you to see it vividly and clearly – that this is a necessity of putting a halt to the miseries of households confronting this circumstance. It may, somehow, bring about a bitter tang but nonetheless, the results of such disagreements are fulfilling and gratifying.