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Sunday, August 3, 2008

iT wOn'T dO YoU HaRm

This is a letter I wrote years ago. I was scheming through the pages of my old rotten diary when this struck me so much. It has been quite some time now, you see. But I am still clinging to it. I live. I love. I am me.

"Species do not change overnight, or even in the course of one lifetime. Rather, evolutionary change usually occurs in tiny, almost imperceptible increments over the course of thousands of generations—periods that range from decades to millions of years.

To study the evolutionary relationships among organisms, scientists must perform complex detective work, deriving indirect clues from the fossil record, patterns of animal distribution, comparative anatomy, molecular biology, and finally, direct observation in laboratories and the natural environment.

Like me, it might take a lifetime for me to totally change all the things I want changed. It may cost a lot for me to do as such but in the end, I know, eventually, it will be worth it.

Life is a constant world that has its never-ending changes - we have to face each circumstance with no BUTS, no WHAT IFS, no HOWS nor WHYS. We have to live life each day to the fullest and accept things as they come. Rushing things would just make all those confusions worse.

Our lives are entirely different . We came from different worlds. There may be things that I may not understand but that's sheer reality. We have nothing to do but live by it.

I am having all those wishful thinkings that fate would be good to me years from now. After all that had happened, I really don't know what and where and who to hang on to.

After all, my life doesn't have its sense of value to others anymore.

People would come and go then destroy your naiveness.

But i just cant blame them.

I wanted it all somehow."

My mom used to tell me that one has a miserable life because he chose to trudge on that path. It ends up to one's stubborness and one begins to hide and would prefer the things that are wrong.

It came to my realization that I too am a very miserable and frustrated person - because I chose to be one. Everybody has his own free will, you see. With whatever decisions you made, making or are about to make, listen from within, from the people around you.

It won't do you any harm. Just let your heart and ears be open to all the changes life and fate to has offer.


Roland said...

wow, nice piece... yeah ryt, we become what we want to become... we make our own destiny.

trials in life should lead to greater mission, not stagnation.

prinsesamusang said...

no matter what, value starts from within. our value should not be determined by other people but by ourselves. if we chose then to have it at low, maybe it's because of sadness, or longing. but it's always good to hope that a time will come that your esteem will be back, and you will be a happy man.

flinch said...

free will is a tricky thing. i agree, mico, we must learn to listen from within us.

we are defined by the choices we make.

pensucks said...

nice piece huh. galing!

Miss Elle said...

"After all, my life doesn't have its sense of value to others anymore."

You must have felt very helpless when you wrote this piece.

"I am having all those wishful thinkings that fate would be good to me years from now. After all that had happened, I really don't know what and where and who to hang on to."

With your courage and optimism to move forward, I guess they haven't remained as wishful thinking anymore. I am deeply hoping kapatid that life now is treating you well or much better. :)

Macki said...

reminds me of dr. suresh ng heroes tv series.

Julie said...

tama ka. dapat makinig ka rin sa mga opinyon ng iba at i-compare mo sa iyong sariling desisyon.

jericho said...

we are rational beings. of course, our choices are also influenced by forces around us. ;)

Jake Tornado said...

I had an uncontrollable fit of epistaxis reading this piece! Hehehe.

Reading it loudly, I sounded like a narrator in the opening scene of that Ewan McGregor starrer "Fish".

You have a penchant for writing good emotional pieces, Mico. Keep it up.

Mico Lauron said...

@roland: true! trials should lead to greater mission. or something more than that. pero we have to listen to others too.

@prinsesamusang: i just feel there's something missing. something my soul really yearns for. i dunno. i am still hopeful though. i am. though i dont know until when.

@flinch: i dont think man has free will. i will further explain it on my next blog. hehehe!

Mico Lauron said...

@pensucks: salamat po! :)

@miss elle: yes i am still helpless until now altho i try to make things better for me.

thanks for believing that i can face each day with courage and optimism. thanks so much! i needed it.

@macki: talaga?! chak! ows?!

@juli: yep. kaso paminsan-minsan ang hirap ding magtiwala eh. people nowadays tend to break that trust. and it sucks. it pisses me.

true that we have to listen to them, to our inner selves. pero dami ding contradictions. kainis!

Mico Lauron said...

@jericho: true. pero hindi lahat. influence lang naman. we are the ones making our decisions. d ba, echo?! :) chak!

@jake: chak! ikaw talaga. binibilog mo yata ulo ko eh. hahaha! chak chak chak! sa ajinomoto! chak! hehehee!

ganun pa man, maraming salamat po. :)

Roxy said...

Your entries, I must say always affects me deeply in some way.

And I agree, You LIVE, You LOVE and the most important thing, YOU ARE YOU.

TENTAY™ said...

micooo dahlinnnn babasahin ko to later. gosh ang hectic. huhu. pero siryoso 3 psyche mo dati?

Mico Lauron said...

@roxy: kambal tayo, d ba? hehehe! chak!

@tentay: yup. i am dead serious about it. pwamis. kaya dont wonder bat ka-engotan lahat ng posts ko dito. hehehe!

leviuqse said...

anong ka-emo-han na naman to!??

haha joking aside, it's another wonderful piece

Mico Lauron said...

@leviuqse: hehehe! eh ano bang magagawa natin kse nabasa ko yan sa lumang diary ko. so i decided to post it. :) hehehe! thanks for reading it though. chak! emo time...