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Sunday, August 28, 2011

The World Is A Small Ocean (Series 1)

Life has given me bitter-sweet memories that I would carry for the rest of my life. Death will always be a poignant reminder of the things that could have been but have not. Tears are the only weapon I cling on to. Putting back into pieces what I once had is a painful step. Things haven't been easy and life for me has always been a struggle between sadness and optimism. I don't consider it a baggage. Not even as a burden. It has made me whole and empty.
I cannot deny that fact. It has been too prevalent in me. Too obvious not to be seen nor felt. Too loud not to be heard. But then again, all I have are memories. Nothing more. Nothing less.

 Sometimes people come to our lives for a reason. They come. They go. And even fate can’t stop them. I have had my bitter share of all these in my lifetime. You never get what you want unless you take it. But people don’t belong to people forever. That is the sad reality. No matter how much we stop it from happening, it will.

Looking back, I have people I am very much indebted to – people who have, in one way or another, molded and honed me of who I am now – for the best and worst. They will never be forgotten. This will be a series of random thoughts and bitter rantings – an endless reminder that YOU, in a way, contributed in my life.
The world is a small ocean - too small for a big fish like me.

I am where I am now because of you. You have always discouraged me because you thought I was too good for you. I used to believe that. I don’t know if I still do. You have made me feel shitty of me not pursuing a medical course and made me think that music is the life I should live. You made me think that a life of a musician and artist won’t be enough to feed a hungry mouth. I thought so too before. Things are different now. I remember that time when I promised myself that one day you’ll be happy for me too. Now, years after we both said goodbye, I hoped to have you back. But no matter what I do, you’re too good for me. Since then, you always caught me off guard. Every time I move closer, you start to drift further away. It was painful. It still is. I am angered by the thought that I know you are always there – a silent spectator of my life. I have long wanted to hear from you. But you have turned deaf-mute to me. I would not expect anything anymore. You have made my life colorful and with that I am very much thankful.


marlon sumanoy said...

.nice one gwaps.. . :)
just continue what you have been started. .for i know that you can do anything. . don't forget to pray. . God bless.. :)

badlydrownedboy said...

once again, mics, you struck a chord in me. and i am at a loss for words, yet again.

Anonymous said...

Not only is it doing the right things that is important (praying, thinking the right way:::accepting humility, modesty, vulnerability, attoning for your sins) it is avoiding the wrong things as well:::"Go and sin no more".

There was a very real perception that bi-racial was much worse for the white than it was for the person of color. The liberal culture screamed racism when there is a very reasonable explanation for this reality::::
In this white punishment known as the United States the person of color has already adopted the disfavors/temptations intended for another race. But by associating/mating with a person of color the white is newly adopting the disfavors of another culture.
And this is the reason why people of color are not welcome in the United States. The gods control everything:::The perception they want to create, the thoughts they want you to have.
People of color can't recover from absorbing the temptations from two cultures. And why they become more and more like so many blacks in America:::Veterans at absorbing the temptations of two cultures.
To further illustrate this is why California's educational system/funding was ranked #1 when California was white:::Education being the basis of the affluent economic system. Now even public higher education has become unaffordable.

The gods placed us all into our own corners of the globe. As such for thousands of years we spent time and reproduced with out own kind.
This is why mobilty/travel, biracial unions/offspring and partaking of other cultures is a sin::::
Each has it's own elements of disfavor, and by experiencing other cultures you are being exposed to these disfavors, which if people may adopt will make their state even worse than prior.
The United States has been considered a "melting pot" where rejects from around the world were sent when kicked out of their motherland.
Remember, this concept of cultural diversity is an element of the liberal platform the gods used to promote societal decay, revealed on the map with the "beast" that is the SanFranciscoBayArea and the spread of social deterioration that spread to the rest of the country and eventually to the entire globe.

Ronald Reagan spent the communist block into submission with defense buildup, and in the process increased the National debt from $1 trillion in 1980 to $6 trillion when he left office.
W charged both the Iraq and Afghanistan wars to the national debt, honest numbers to come.
The gods used W to initiate the "Great Recession" with deliberate legislation/regulation changes, allowing the sub-prime fiasco and corporate irresponsibility/criminal behavior which led to the multi-trillion dollar stimulous package, pocketted by Republican friends and donors::::$5 trillion charged to the National credit card.
This corruption is one element of evil in the party of good. War mongering is another.
Damned if you do, Damned if you don't::::With the Democrats you subscribe to social decay via liberlism, which WILL lead to the Apocalypse. Republicans are being used by the gods to bankrupt the United States, ultimately motivating people to the point of "desperation prayer" once anarchy presides::::Punishment designed to correct your behavior.

I have showed you how to think the correct way, using an example to illustrate. Let's see how many "reverse positioning" examples you can find. There are more.