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Saturday, August 6, 2011

I Sing Once More

Sometimes, people come to our lives for a reason - to break us into pieces so that we could learn how to be whole again, to make us thread on the angst of pain in order for us to smile once more. Painful but in a way true.

They always come uninvited at your lowest, raise you to heaven and let you fall into the dungeons of sadness. It's as if it fate has purposely written it on our palms and meant to be left that way. And we allow them to come into our lives hoping that they will make our darker days a little brighter. We build our hopes again. We begin to smile. "Everything will be fine now," we say to ourselves. Days start to become optimistic with us ignoring the storm that awaits us. They do make our being whole again - but only for a short span of time. But the scar they have left will be etched eternally to our souls and being.

Sleepless nights still come knocking on my door and would inevitably sit beside me. It has become my companion all these years and I have freely embraced it. For the last four years of me writing, pain and tears had brought out the best in me. It has been the melody of my soul and some were unsung and left unheard. It has become the entity of who I am now. My past still haunts me - full of regrets and wishful thinking - of "what-ifs" and "what-could-have-beens." Many questions still waiting for answers and wounds left open waiting to be healed.

A lot has happened that were left unwritten. Sometimes I get to think that it is better to be alone - no hurts, no tears. Year after year, those memories get more vivid and clear. And it pierces my heart again and again. It still makes tears well on my eyes. Slowly, uncertainties and anger cloak my heart. I have ached down to my core and allowed it to stay with me for long a time. I have celebrated life with scorn and pain - faking every smile and killing every little bit of optimism there is left.

Time ran dry and dreams were broken - never to be whole again. "If I could only turn back time." But that will never happen again.

And I missed playing the melody of my life. I want to hear it sung again. And let it fly one more time.

6 comments:

ERnestmiLY said...

Nice Blog! Keep up the good work noy! Singing is life!

Take care. Love yah!

joemar said...

music is life, mico... it binds in us our one important facet - emotion. sing for triumph, for joy, for success, for happiness, for love, for light... you'll see cycles around you starting to ascend. keep singing! :)

badlydrownedboy said...

finally! :)

is it me or is the 'singing of melody' in reference to your writing as well as your passion for music?

people come and go, and whether we like it or not, they become a part of us.

Ejay Yan said...

The most important thing is you haven't lost your song, after all. Keep singing the "melodies of life." Music is the only thing that could keep us going. :)

Mico said...

@ ERnestmiLY: Thanks for dropping by and reading my post.

@ Joemar: Thanks for always being ever-supportive dear cousin. And yes, I will begin to sing for triumph, for joy, for success, for happiness, for love, for light once more.

@ badlydrownedboy: It is both my passion for music and love of writing. As you have known, I write it all down if I feel bad. And yes, it is true that people come and go and the bitter truth that they will always be a part of us no matter what.

@ Ejay: I have been trying to keep my emotions intact despite the fear of losing it again to my sanity. Thanks for dropping by dear friend. It's nice to see you here.

Ejay Yan said...

I forgot to tell you, "Melodies of Life" has an instrumental version; I have the piano mp3 and the original piano score that comes with it. :)