Here I am again alone in the place I have called home for the past four years. I have sung every song, endured every pain, and shed every tear. I have lived a dream and I guess this is about that time when I have to wake up to the reality I have ignored for so long - to feel what I had to feel and cry until I cry no more.
It hasn't been easy. No, it wasn't.
I have nothing to boast for I am one ordinary being uncapable of turning people's heads. It is only MUSIC which gives life to my being. Without it, I am a nobody.
I begin to question myself, "What if I weren't a musician? What if I didn't know how to sing? What if I didn't have all these? Will still I be loved?" It pains me knowing that my chosen career path cannot feed a family nor sustain a man's life. But the only thing that I have always known, I was happy about it.
It was so selfish of me - to think about myself all the time. Nevertheless, there is no turning back now. Even if I were given another option, I would still be doing the same thing.
Often times, I wonder what life could have been for me if I weren't I am now.
Will I still be the me that I am now?
Will I still be meeting the same people?
Would have I still known love?
Would have I existed?
That'll forever be the question that would stir my mind.
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3 comments:
Don't sulk my friend. I've always believed that life has something in store for all of us. Cheers!
@ Jake: I havent been motivated to write for a long tie. Ang dami kong iniisip, daming nambubulabog sa isipan ko. Kainis! Kmusta ka na? Buti namat napadaan ka...
i thought i spotted your name in a recent SU Alumni newsletter i received on my box, about you (SU Idol winner?) and a bunch of sillimanians going to CDO for a show.
obviously you have a gift for music, and although the currency of the world (or how it spells "success" these days) does not really translate well from musical units, music as a thing in itself is worth more than current opinion, and i've always believed that having music sitting most comfortably in your soul will always be way way greater than having money in your pocket, and way way better than a million false accolades. when your money's gone, and all your friends have left, the music in you will always be enough.
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