Custom Search

Friday, May 1, 2009

a LeTTeR


"Falling in love doesn't necessarily need to get through with sex. It is knowing the other person with who he was, he is. It is accepting his past, his present and his future. It is conscience. It is selflessness. It is trust."

I was scheming through some old papers I had five years ago. This was a part of a letter I sent to someone who meant so much to me dated 17th of June 2004. Memories began to gush in my mind. I have been struggling much with that relationship and I believe I still am. Everyday of my life I become more and more afraid. It is true that feelings and emotions are temporal. LOVE isn't. The only permanent in this world is CHANGE. It has been a long time I know. My life is still in pieces. I can't seem to pick them all up.

I have edited some parts of the letter due to some grammatical errors. I am posting this hoping that he would be reading it again. Yes, there are a million "FISH" in the ocean. Some have stung me. Some are slippery. But this, I have managed to hold on to.


Thursday
17 July 2004

It has been almost a month when I met you. I can clearly remember that time. Memories are still fresh and vivid.

It was raining. We were strangers. Least that I have expected that I will be falling for you. I believe that some people, like you, were meant only to teach a person to love again. To teach and but can't love in return. I am just happy that there was this YOU who shook the core of my being and made it see a spark of hope again.

I admit that everything seems to be so stupid. Stupid of falling in love with someone you have just met. An acquaintance. Though I know what I felt. This has taught me a valuable lesson - that no matter how ordinary a person can be, he could mean someone's world. I may not totally know your sentiments. I don't even know if you felt the same. Uncertain. Somehow, it made my world spin again.

It has been a week since classes started. Every day, I look forward of hearing from you. Often times I feel bad. I expected too much of recieving a single e-mail from you. I have to understand that though. Everytime I get home and lie on my bed, I could feel the cold air brushing my face - reminiscing those times when we talked about sweet nothings. I like it that way.

Falling in love doesn't necessarily need to get through with sex. It is knowing the other person with who he was, he is. It is accepting his past, his present and his future. It is conscience. It is selflessness. It is trust.

On that night when your folks gathered for a farewell dinner, you were a complete stranger. It was absurd to have expected too much attention from you. I was selfish. I apologize for that. I even confronted you about Andrew knowing the fact that I didn't have the right, even in its littlest form, to do so. I love you that much.

Twenty days of being away, I am still holding on. 28th of May, I had a last glimpse of your face, seen you smile, kissed your shoulders, held your hands - those hands that would never be mine. I am missing you.

Then again, thank you for being a part of me - an ordinary being. Thank you for the wonderful times spent.

If there could only be a line or two that has the power to bind all these things in my heart. I love you!

-Mikee

16 comments:

Luis Batchoy said...

it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all, but its best to love and keep it too. hehehehe... sorry na dc sa ym last nyt. Nag black out eh

soberfruitcake said...

wahhhhh.i feel the same way. it's been a year since we broke up pero til now, the longing is still there.

Aiken said...

nomatter how cliche it may sound, experiences like these make us stronger individuals. but then again love is complex and there are a lot of advantages and disadvantages. as for mine, i have loved and lost and that put me into a safer shelter now. and i'm learning to dwell on that shelter so i wont get hurt that much again. :)

Lyka Bergen said...

Hmmmmm...... kilala ko ba to? Chos!

Jake said...

Eto ba yung guy na nasa States na? Uyyy! Bakit biglang inungkat ang nakaraan? Hehe.

I AM CARLO MAGNO said...

Love comes and goes in our lives, the important thing are the lessons that stays, the memories and the joy it brought us.

And some of your friends are right, the old adage, it is better to love and lost than not at all.

But I still believe each one of us has someone meant to stay for the rest of our lives.

Bart Tolina said...

Punta kayo sa blog ko at may libreng pagkain! barttolina.blogspot.com
salamat!

Mico Lauron said...

@ Luis Batchoy: I totally agree with that. At least memories are kept - vivid and fresh in my mind. I can't help but be nostalgic.

Mico Lauron said...

@ soberfruitcake: Nice isipin ano? Kaso kung minsan nasasaktan din tayo. Paminsan minsan kasi we are the only once who hurt ourselves. Kung meron mang iba, it's all up to us pa din.

But I would still go back to that line, "To love is being humane. And being humane means you're human."

Mico Lauron said...

@ Aiken: Chola!!! True. I believe this has made me a more stronger person although I am still vulnerable sa mga ganitong bagay.

Mico Lauron said...

@ Lyka Bergen: I think so.. Hehehehe!

@ Jake: Hmm.. Parang ganun na nga. I dunno. I just remembered. I love keeping old papers kase and it so happened I ran across that old notebook I once had. I missed him though.

Mico Lauron said...

@ I AM CARLO MAGNO: Totoo. We cannot deny the fact that with these feelings come greater pain. Lessons come along the package and I guess that's one good thing. Parang compromise.

I love what you said, "Love comes and goes in our lives, the important thing are the lessons that stays, the memories and the joy it brought us."Honestly, I didn't care too much about the pain. I stick more with those wonderful memories. Sometimes, that kind of thing gives me the creeps too...

flinch said...

it's bleeding. i, too, hope the fish reads this again.

jericho said...

maalala mo kaya? hehe ;)

Lionheart : Richard the Adventurer said...

Waaah!

Emo na naman....

Don't keep those papers... Kasi ako... Sinunog ko na lahat magpapaalala sa akin ng mga past... They're so stupid and i am so ridiculous!

Adventure na lang tayo!

辣炒年糕Blue said...

,徵信社,尋人,偵探,偵探社,徵才,私家偵探,徵信,徵信社,徵信公司,抓猴,出軌,背叛,婚姻,劈腿,感情,第三者,婚外情,一夜情,小老婆,外遇,市場調查,公平交易法,抓姦,債務,債務協商,應收帳款,詐欺,離婚,監護權,法律諮詢,法律常識,離婚諮詢,錄音,找人,追蹤器,GPS,徵信,徵信公司,尋人,抓姦,外遇,徵信,徵信社,徵信公司,尋人,抓姦,外遇,徵信,徵信社,徵信公司,尋人,抓姦,外遇,徵信,徵信社,徵信公司,尋人,抓姦,外遇,徵信社